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Bit overboard…

I might’ve gone a little overboard with the story, will be interesting to see where it goes!

Did this for a friend, trying to convince him to play the game. It sort of worked.

It starts here:

The First year of Tonguecrafted

Digging the Dining Room

We found the first ore-rich level and started to dig a dining room, we found many small pockets of gems along the way and enough tin ore to keep any metalsmith happy. Below this will be the food stores and, if we get lucky and find a cavern that we can use to irrigate the ground, the lower farms. We have not yet decided on the locations of the bedrooms or the workshops.


Digging the “Workshops”
I told the miners to “go wild” with the workshops, but I guess they rather took that to heart, as they obviously weren’t following any sort of plan, it’s not even properly symmetrical!

I almost told them to bulldoze it all and put in stud-walls, but maybe it can be re-purposed to confuse invaders or something. Our engravers were complaining they was bored, so I’ve set them to smoothing the walls in the outer hallway.

Our fisherdwarf said this morning that he could smell smoke on the breeze, and one of the dogs has disappeared. I hope it’s more traders, and not goblins.


They were migrants, bringing with them some lambs and young llamas. This will be good later for setting up a wool industry, if the ground here can handle it. We have started smoothing and installing furniture in the dining room and may soon need to expand the farms. There has been mutterings from the miners of digging down to find magma, but we’ve not even built bedrooms yet, it can wait.

I looked out this morning and several more migrants had arrived, following in the footsteps of the first. A milker, a tanner, a metal smith and a leather worker, behind them limped a small piglet and a yak calf.

They told me that originally their group had been much larger, but the roads are getting more dangerous and they have decided to stay. We should think about building a defensive wall on the surface. It’s late autumn now, and desert winters can be harsh.



The dogs have given birth to many puppies over the last season, with a heavy heart I ordered all of the males to be killed for meat, the new tanner will have work today. We don’t have enough room yet as it is, one male has been chosen to live, the biggest and strongest of our war dogs, hopefully the puppies he produces in the future will be female and strong.

We have both a male and female llama calf out in the pasture, both have been put up for adoption, hopefully they will find a loving owner who will protect them from accidental slaughter. They shall live outside and once they grow up, produce more baby llamas, and many wool blankets. The adoptive owner will recive a letter quarterly, it will go as follows.

This is $llama! You adopted me in $season, $year! I am doing well, I have had $digit babies this year and I am very happy, only $digitkilled of them were male!

I hope you continue to donate to my cause, yours lovingly, $llama!


Winter is nearly upon us, but a dwarven trade caravan has arrived. They heard of our predicament and bought replacement parts for our wagon, but that has long been torn up for wood. We will build them a new trade depot out of Bauxite, at the bottom of the entrance ramp. When it is done it will be the colour of blood, a memorial to the fallen puppies.

Despite the new workshop space only one level below, many workshops are still set up in the cavern, this will be fixed eventually but for now it is a fairly efficient way of doing things.

By the time we got the depot up, the merchants had left, they dropped in for a few mugs of wine but didn’t stay long enough to trade.

Their loss I suppose, we’re doing ok for ourselves, we did manage to request more wood for next time.


Late Winter
The winter was as I feared, snowstorms flew unabated, and the small pools we were using to fish have all dried up. The farm plot near the entrance way grew poorly, but it was only deep into the winter that I was informed we had no more barrels for alcohol, or, as it happened, alcohol itself.

I dreaded who I would have to send out to chop more wood, this was something we should have noticed much earlier, but as it was.

Just when we thought all hope was gone, a cry came from outside, the snow storm had eased and the pools had thawed, the water was cold and nasty, but it sated our thirst.

(Whoops, that what I get for leaving the game unpaused)


Spring has arrived! The rest of the winter was cold but uneventful, I may clear those workshops and build some better ones closer to the surface. I’m told that this sand is more solid than I originally thought and could withstand having rooms mined out of it.

On the door step this morning I found a huge group of dwarves, one of my friends, out original, handed me a note with this written on it:

Hunter, planter, Bower, Brewer, Trapper, Armorer, Stoneworker, Weaponsmith, Miner, Tanner, Hunter, Farmer, Stonecrafter, Glazer, Fish Disector, Trader (But I want to be a Fisherdwarf!), Animal Trainer, Diagnoser, Cheese Maker

After speaking to them and asking where they were travelling to, I was informed that they were coming here! Apparently we’re the big thing around the mountainhome, although we never got to trade, word got back and these are actual honest to god migrants.

Armok help us, we can barely feed ourselves as it is, without all these people hanging around. I’ve designated a whole kitchen and crafting area to be dug, we will have to designate more farms, they bought animals that will need pasture we don’t have… The diagnoser has been placed in charge of injuries, the hunter has been sent out hunting and some workshops for milking and such have been marked out on the surface. Those who requested it have been put down for active duty and will act as a military once we have a barracks and weapons sorted out.

We’re growing too fast. I’ve ordered farms to be placed where the finished goods stockpile was meant to be, I hope we can adapt before we starve.

It’s midspring in the year 552, and Tonguecrafted is 37 dwarves strong.

I suppose I’ll continue this somewhere else, unless nobody here has complaints. I started it and got carried away.

We have started building a wall around our fortress, and for good reason. The elves are here.

They say they merely wish to trade, but we have never done good business with elves. All our goods are shell and wood and I do not wish to trade rough gems. A gem-cutters shop has been set up in the crafting area, but if we do not get to trade with them in time, that’s no big loss.


They still stand in our depot and complain about the height of the ceiling. I told somebody to trade with them just to get them out of here, but nobody has yet.

Word gets back to me that we traded a single gem for several planks of wood, a panda and a wild Cogour. Why we would want that I don’t know. About the Panda, I know we will not have been able to keep it alive due to the lack of bamboo pastures on this map, so it has been designated to be killed, but even that is better than than to travel with the elves until it inevitably starves to death.


Mid Summer

Separating the gems out into two separate stockpiles, for two separate workshops. We have an abundance of food and two designated cooks now. The bedrooms are coming along and the dining room is almost smooth.

Our armorer has gone nuts, some say he was possessed, some say he was mad, either way he starved himself to death. The awkward workshops shall be where we store our dead, I have told the engravers to deal with it.

Our best carpenter says he does not feel well. He simply sits in his workshop and draws, I hope he isn’t coming down with whatever took poor Litast.


Late Summer

It is named WeatheredFlushed the Blue Mortality, an armour stand with a recurring pattern on it. It is dedicated to the armourer Litast, and the fact that we must all face our mortality eventually.


Mid Autumn

Just when we think we have achieved stability, more migrants arrive. Lists are being written and jobs will be properly assigned from now on.

We shall need Two cooks, Five Farmers, Two Brewers, One Butcher, One Tanner, One Gem Cutter, One Gem Encruster, One Beekeeper, One Carpenter, Four Masons, However many engravers we have now, but no more, One milker and cheese maker and One Shearer and Spinner.

Other professions may be required too, but that’s just off the top of my head. The fortress will run smoothly for now.

Cage – I don’t know why I titled this “Cage” I looked and there it was.

Almond cake was awesome, Emmy is silly, the flower is from a thing I got for christmas, you put the tea ball into the hot water and it blooms into a flower, and the random picture of the ceiling, I dunno where that came from but it’d make a nice wallpaper.


I dunno, that was just a random amalgamation of sounds.

Stuff has been ok! College is getting there, I baked the most amazing awesome cake twice and would bake a third if we weren’t out of Cranberries. Mine didn’t sink in the middle either. Granddad ate at least three slices. I will make that again, and I will make more stuff with that flaked almond topping, it would probably go well with Blueberries.

I dropped my shiny pen and it got scratched down one side. I was stupid and put it in my trouser pocket instead of my coat, and stupid pocket had a hole in it and it fell out and some old man stood on it. But it still works so it’s ok! At least I noticed it’d fallen out.

New chicken is settling in fine. We got four eggs today! So they’re all laying for once. That’s pretty awesome. I think the neigbours are going to start getting gifts of eggs soon.

The weather has been improving, went to a carboot with Granddad today but there was only six stalls, I guess because it rained yesterday and it’s been very windy. It’s been raining more but it’s not half as cold as it was, I’m glad. Gonna wire around the two slightly raised beds in the garden so that the chickens can’t trample them, and cut back the rose bush which suddenly grew to 12ft high last year for no disernable reason. I guess it liked me digging up the ground or something, because there’d been no sign of it before and it was a sort of wild-rose flower that it produced instead of the normal flowers. The bushes themselves are probably as old as the house which is pretty interesting.


Not entirely to scale

Gonna put the greenhouse next to the shed and move the chicken house. Could put a little fence and a gate at the bottom of the beds but then the dogs would be stuck in the little patio bit. The two trees are still only about 3ft tall.


Not doing my homework!

Guinea pig is coming along ok. I also spent 10 minutes making a pin cushion to hold the needles I’m not using. It wasn’t supposed to be ridiculously cute! It was just red and cream and then suddenly it wanted eyes and a mouth! I’m starting to build up a collection of Porings…

(Those’re the felting needles stuck in it)

Paid for a month of hero on die2nite, it was around £10, well expensive, more expensive than a month of WoW even, but I’ve put a lot of time into it so it’s nice to give something back. I doubt I’ll buy a second month at that price though.

I managed to explode a fountain pen cartridge all over myself the other day, that was interesting. Pen I got is lovely, makes me happy every time I write with it, but due to buying the wrong thing, I only have one cartridge that fits it and a load that don’t fit anything so I have to transfer the ink with a syringe. At least they’re the same size, I think when these run out I might just buy a bottle of ink instead, at least it’ll be harder for me to explode that.

Got another guy asking about the Strawberry Magic game. I think brother’s got it at the moment.

Thorax has taken to crowing loudly, but I really like having him around. Three of the dogs went for him the other day and he not only stood up to them, he won! They’re shit-scared of him now. I hope he learns to stfu though, I really don’t want to have to get rid of him… He’s so big and heavy that he’d be on somebody’s plate before you could say “shut the hell up you stupid chicken”


Unwashed sheep wool is greasy, I should wash it properly with some shampoo or whatever. It’s nice to have though just as an unexpensive base.

Gonna try and make Tera a Guinea pig for his birthday, this was my first attempt, just a tiny one to see how the shape worked.

Could be better. But I’ll get there!

Other than that, college has been pretty hectic, exams last week, I should have passed the English, I know I passed the IT and I’m pretty sure I didn’t pass the maths. But IT exams done on actual computers! That was nice. Apart from the fact my first one refused to print and finally crashed.

Had an odd dream last night, at one point I picked up a Christmas card, on the front was a generic christmassy picture, but captioning it was this:

“When you fall into the piranah pool, switch to the shadow world, where simple day changes to the whole night ahead of you, where you are safe from the things you simply thought”
Very odd. The back was a whole monologue from the maker of the card going on about how weird it was.

I forgot to put a title on this post, which makes things all kinds of difficult.

So, Christmas happened. I got an awesome leather jacket, some “science kits” which should be fun, “build rocket propelled bouncy balls” and a “worm farm” got some Jelly Beans which I just realised I haven’t eaten yet, and I spent way too much on other people.

Also got a 3.6v electric screwdriver off Jenny and a Dremel tool off Granddad, not sure what’s going on there but I’m sure they’ll come in useful.

I got mum a teapot, but as an afterthought I also got her a needle felting kit and a book. Best present ever. I’ve made more with it than she has, but we’re already at the point of “We should order more wool… And more needles. And ohh that book looks good!”

I’m not sure how long it’ll hold my attention but it’s a lot quicker than knitting and I’ve only made myself bleed three times.

New year was good. Went to Grandma and Granddads with Terence, Jenny and Jonty were there too, I fixed his R4 and we had a long conversation about Digimon.

Some sweets from Finland arrived. God they’re so good, I am such an addict. :( Some sweets from Tera are supposed to have arrived too, but nothing yet. I hope Customs haven’t eaten them.

That’s that I guess. Got an exam on the 11th and the 13th but the’re nothing major.

Poring from RO, with a sword, an apple and an unidentified hat.




College is over until after Christmas! I added £10 to my Steam wallet and have been spending it on games over the past couple of weeks. (Roughly £1.50 to £2.00 a game) Things could be worse!

Super Meat Boy is awesome, I can only stand playing it in small bursts, but it’s still good! I just wish it wouldn’t crash quite so randomly.  Normally right after I’ve got a bandage and I’m on the winning lap too.

Bob Came In Pieces is a very cute little puzzle game, it’s on sale today and tomorrow for something like £1.75, you should check out the trailer on Steam. Zombie Driver is on sale too but I don’t think I’ll bother getting it. I have too many games already.

I bought the second Humble Indie Pack, it’s a “pay what you want” sale but if you pay under something like 5p, Paypal eats it all and then charges them extra. I’ve not had a chance to play with it yet but I’m building up a nice little pile of installers, I’d been meaning to buy Braid so that’s good. The first one suddenly appeared on Steam a week or so ago, about a year after the first “pay what you want” sale, and everyone who’d bought it got a code, which is pretty awesome.

I got shatter, which is is Breakout but it’s not bad. The Steam achievement for it is impossible but oh well.  I’ve had some fun playing with the story mode and the music is decent.

There’s a few games I’m watching out for next year. Rock of Ages looks pretty cool, Diablo 3 I haven’t been paying much attention to but I will grab when it’s released. Onni forced me to play through D2 and it was fun. Portal 2 is a given.

Found this Dungeon Keeper remake thing earlier that looks worth keeping an eye on

Some of the stuff I ordered for Christmas still hasn’t arrived, but I think it may be at the post office, I have to go out anyway. Wish whoever is delivering some stuff (A dedicated courier, not Royal Mail) would stop throwing stuff over the back gate into the garden, I don’t see it before I and all the dogs and the chickens tread on it and that’s no fun.

Thorax is developing a magnificent tail, him and Abigail look like this now, they’re much bigger than the Black Rocks, but I guess that’s because they’re designed as a dual purpose breed as opposed to just egg layers. He’s starting to develop some good behaviour, he protects the girls from the dogs now (Sophie charges them sometimes out of sheer excitement and he stands in front of them and pecks at her now, which serves her right) and he won’t eat before they do now, he just stands and looks manly.

It’s all fun.

Tidied my desk and have managed to keep it that way for almost a whole week.

Christmas is coming!

Lots of things have been arriving. Today arrived something mum refuses to disclose, some tea I bought for myself (Happy early Christmas, me!) and a bright pink, glitter covered two headed resin dragon I got for Jenny. Oh and some bath goo for Johnty! I’d love this stuff if we still had a bath. Hopefully he reacts better to it than he did the lego helicopter we got him last year. Which was greeted with “That’s boring, I don’t want that *tosses it down*”

I kept it and built it myself. :( How can anyone be bored with lego!

Bought mum a teapot but it hasn’t arrived yet… Got grandma a mug with “THE BEST GRANDMA” and some words on it, she’ll like that. No idea what to buy granddad so I’ve given up.

All the ice has melted, which I’m kinda relived about. It would have been ok if it’d kept snowing, but instead if just snowed a little, then melted and froze into a slide. I managed to slip twice even in my awesome boots.

Still hanging out on Die2Nite, should be doing homework.

Wondering if I should be joining in the protests. I went to a little one in St.Helens but it was sparse. Cutting EMA is the worst, EMA was one of the few things that kept me going into college when I was doing my GCSEs again.

Oh well.


Knitting isn’t as hard as it looks!

Gonna order some wool off ebay and attempt to make this :

Go go Slytherin!